The Talk
by Glitter Mafia
Summary: Beni knows about alchohol, death, and drugs. How can he not know about the birds and the bees? Oh well, I guess Kakashi will have to tell him.


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The Talk

_Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, but if we did Itachi would be a good guy.

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It was one o'clock in the morning, exactly two days after a mission that Kakashi and Genma should not have come back from. Kakashi was lying on the couch all bandaged up, enjoying his favorite movie, "Icha Icha Paradise". He was wrapped up in a rather engrossing part when he realized (to his horror) that he was not alone.

"What are they doing?" innocently asked Benitora, his eyes glued to the television.

"What are you doing up?" cried Kakashi.

"The thing that MIGHT be under my bed was bothering me. But seriously…what are they doing?" Beni replied absently.

"They are…uuuuuuummmm…hugging," Kakashi answered, using the second thing that came to mind (the first was even more inappropriate than what they were actually doing).

"Naked?" asked the innocent ninja.

" Its…a documentary." Kakashi spewed, " about tribal savages on the islands of Icha Icha…I mean Licha Licha," the Copy Ninja continued, desperately improvising

"Oh, sounds boring," Benitora yawned widely. The teenage boy stood up, stretching then walked down the hall toward his bedroom.

Once Kakashi heard the bedroom door close he let out a sigh of relief. He then quickly clicked off the TV, and planned to visit Tsunadae's office the next morning.

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Tsunadae was sitting in her office with her feet propped up. She had shoveled all of her paper work on her two assistants, Izumo and Kotestu.

"I'll have to get them something nice," she muttered to herself. She was debating on whether it was appropriate or not to buy Kotestu hair gel, when a very flustered looking Kakashi burst in through the door.

"Benitora doesn't know what sex is!" he stated.

"What?" asked Tsunadae, " what do you mean he doesn't know THAT is?'

" He's got no clue!" Kakashi cried.

" Well, that's odd…hey wait a minute, how did you find this out?" demanded the Hokage accusingly.

Immediately realizing his mistake, the Sharingan user attempted to look innocent.

"Well, I was…you see…watching this …movie…and" –

Tsunadae shook her head in horror. "You were not watching porn with a fifteen year old in the house!" she cried

"Its not porn its romance!" he retorted.

The Hokage sighed, then said, "Well, I guess you'll have to explain it to him."

"WHAT!?!" shouted Kakashi, his face fading three shades.

"You're his surrogate brother, it only makes sense," Tsunadae said matter–o-factly.

"But…but…Why can't Iruka do it?" Kakashi looked around desperately. Tsunadae rolled her eyes. "I already made Iruka explain it to Naruto. I think I've scarred the poor sensei enough."

"Why can't you tell him?" the Copy Ninja pleaded.

" I'm a girl, that would just be awkward."

"Dang it! Wait! What about Genma?" asked the jounin

" He's still in the hospital," said the Hokage.

"Well, drag him out," demanded Kakashi. Tsunadae stared at him blandly, laughing on the inside. In all the time she had known Kakashi, this was the first time she'd ever seen him lose his cool, calm and collected persona. It was hilarious.

Kakashi's face lit up. " Gai! Gai will tell him!" he cried.

"Do you really want to live with someone under Gai's influence?" Tsunadae asked.

"But…I …can't …do…it!!" choked out Kakashi.

"Yes, you can and you will or I'll make you a sensei again…over Konohamaru!" threatened the Hokage.

"You wouldn't dare!" shouted Kakashi, disbelieving. Tsunadae gave him a meaningful look. Kakashi walked out of the office looking sorely defeated.

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That afternoon Kakashi and Benitora sat at the table on opposite ends.

" Now, Benitora, when a man and a woman love each other very much…usually…"

20 minutes later

"THAT'S DISGUSINTG!!!!" Beni yelled as he ran out the door, trying desperately to get the new images out of his head. The next week the poor boy can't look at Kakashi or any girl.

_Beni: Where is the island of Licha Licha anyway?_


End file.
